1 mile

Ya, I know right “She WALKED” One mile Big Whoop! ” 😂 heard that! But let let’s get real for a min for those of you in the back feeling like shit, feeling like not showing up, and who are just done. I was so done. Visions of suicide dancing in my head. Toxic candy cookies and pepsi coursing through my veins, Breathing toxic mold spores With every whiff of the air. Rage, blood, disownment, and rape, These 39 years had left me washed up, soiled and over baked. I was so done. On top of being done, I hurt. Spiritually and mentally sure, but I could drown that with whiskey and wine, In all of my fucking Pretention it had better be fine. Oh but the ache of my body was almost too much to bear. I used to dance all night long, once for 3 days straight I’m sure. I used to run 3 miles everyday, and once ran a 10k with my dad. Then I was infected, and I couldn’t get better. Dismissed, judged, and misdiagnosed I couldn’t even find the right medical care. In 2018 the voices in my head became wicked, As we lived in the sickest building of all. And then he passed on from humanity and I thought that was all. No more, I go too. Mickey and Mallory Die at the end of the movie, Didnt we know, And so did Romeo and Juliet. So I was so done. So done. But I didn’t go. I chose not to I chose to flip the script. I didn’t do it alone. Lovers patiently urged from the sidelines and prayed I might find my way from the dark maze I wandered. For my sons, I had a great time left, for His honor, I shall not leave our plans uncompeleted, In my mind I could hear quite urging and his voice Telling me the opposite of the evil that had been ordering me around. My uncle died too in a shorty motel in Little Rock. They needed me. So after 30+ days of not leaving my house and hardly eating at all, They needed me. I had his voice… It said I had to get a grip. Negated every single awful thing the other narrator would say. A book appeared on the book shelf. I was paying attention now. I was guided to a functional medicine doctor, a wonderful chiropractor, and natropath. They knew what was wrong with me. They ran extra extra labs, and to be continued…

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