The Fortunate One

She was tiny little blonde round faced girl,

With all the imagination and curiosity a human form could stand,

She had all the good things,

And with that also came some very bad ones.

There was a short one, a freckled one, a 23 year old one, a family one, the party promoter that drugged me,

There was the almost one, the idiot “he didn’t know better one, there was the “grew up to be a prosecutor “ one, and then there was the anal boyfriend rape who hated vag.

Except all of those are nothing,

All of those are no ones,

Compared to the good ones I’ve known in my life.

There was whimsical uncle, the protective uncle, the crazy uncle, the pop out thier teeth at ya uncle, the stable father figure uncle,

I’ve had the safest youth ministers, male therapist, band directors, theater teachers, the cheerleading coach that pulled the girls off of me.

I knew my great grandpa and he was sweet and kind, respectable, with blue eyes, I think.

My grandfather was steady, a genius, a freethinker, and had expectations,

But he was safe and those high hopes were really an unbounding love,

That I never thought I could reach,

Unknowing that it was all encompassing me and it always had,

I had brilliant male teachers, in physics, history,

And Mr. Price the English and Theater and Mr. Tiny Stephen king,

Who yelled “specifuckingficity!” at us on stage,

And it was with total love,

And I adored him.

I had the greatest best friends growing up, and thier dads and they were all so different,

From one another, and my own,

Yet they were safe.

I had my own dad, who was rough and militant sometimes,

Other times he was silly and strong and wise,

I knew he was sure I hung the moon,

These balanced the scales.

The safe ones saved me,

Even though they had no idea,

They didn’t know the abuse I had endured,

They didn’t know about the fear and shame I walked with everyday,

I’m sure only a few knew of the mask I wore,

It only took their being in my life,

That changed my whole life,

Otherwise it would have been consumed by the ones,

The one who were so damaged they were malevolent.

They never had a chance at ruining me,

I had stronger men than them, loving, safe, and balanced,

They helped to save me from being unable to escape the bitterness and nightmares and fear,

Because deep down I always know there is a yin and yang,

Wherever there is darkness, there is light,

Wherever there is pain, there is healing,

Wherever there is a sick fuck-

There is a good one, A

And

I hope you can find good ones out there like I did.

Don’t loose hope.

(Post edit- looks like I wrote this Feb. 1, 2024 and left it in drafts. So here ya go bloggidity blog og.)