The Fortunate One

She was tiny little blonde round faced girl,

With all the imagination and curiosity a human form could stand.

She had a decent life in a nice family, and a whole community,

with that also came some very bad people,

There was “the short, freckled” one,

The “” do you want to know what grown ups do?” from toddler times” one,

The “23 year old one”,

The “family member one”,

the “party promoter one” that drugged me,

There was the “almost one”who I escaped,

the “idiot who said he didn’t know better” one,

there was the “grew up to be a prosecutor “ one,

and then there was the boyfriend with anal rape who said “vagina feels like mashed potatoes.”

Except all of those are nothing,

All of those ,

Compared to the good ones I’ve known in my life.

There was whimsical uncle, the protective uncle, the crazy uncle, the pop out thier teeth at ya uncle, the stable father figure uncle,

I’ve had the safest youth ministers, male therapist, band directors, theater teachers, the cheerleading coach that pulled the girls off of me.

I knew my great grandpa and he was sweet and kind, respectable, with blue eyes, I think.

My grandfather was steady, a genius, a freethinker, and had expectations,

But he was safe and those high hopes were really an unbounding love,

That I never thought I could reach,

Unknowing that it was all encompassing me and it always had,

I had brilliant male teachers, in physics, history,

And Mr. Price the English teacher, the Tiny Stephen King,

Who yelled “specifuckingficity!” at us on stage,

Spoken from a true Director of Theater Arts,

it was with total loving critism,

And I adored him.

I had the greatest best friends growing up, and with their dads cosplaying as my dad,

they were all so different,

From one another, and my own,

Yet they were safe.

I had my own dad, who was rough and militant sometimes,

Other times he was silly, strong and wise,

I knew he was certain that I alone the moon,

These balanced the scales.

The safe ones saved me,

Even though they had no idea,

They didn’t know the abuse I had endured,

They didn’t know about the fear and shame I walked with everyday,

Few knew of the mask I wore,

It only took their being in my life,

To change my whole life,

Otherwise it would have been consumed by the others,

The damaged, the malevolent.

They never had a chance at ruining me.

I had stronger men than them,

Those loving, safe, and balanced,

They helped to save me from being unable to escape the bitterness and nightmares and fear,

Because deep down I always know there is a yin and yang.

Wherever there is darkness, there is light,

Wherever there is pain, there is healing,

Wherever there is a sicko-

There is a real one, a hero,

I hope you can see the hero, beyond the sicko.

Don’t loose hope.

(Post edit- looks like I wrote this Feb. 1, 2024 and left it in drafts. So here ya go bloggidity blog og.)